I have no idea how many times have I started or a better way I can put it is, restarting blogging but it has been a very difficult journey since I last blogged actively. I am not sure if it's because I have started adulting or because I have been less and less inspired since my interest in K-pop fashion just dwindled away.
The world is currently facing the greatest tragedy ever. The Covid-19 pandemic is not only taking lives but it is also effecting every country's economy. It's heart wrenching reading the news today with not only total cases and death tolls increasing but reading and hearing news about people losing their jobs and having difficulty just surviving on a day-to-day basis. Personally, it has effected me too and of course my family but I don't think it has effected us as badly as it did with as other people.
However, through this pandemic and all the consequences it has on every person, I was able to find a simple blessing from all the bad turn of events that folded in front of me. The one good thing that I was able to collect and cherish during this pandemic is the opportunity of reflecting upon myself and my surroundings. I have always knew I am unhappy with what I have recently achieved in my life. The happiest I have been so far was when I finally graduated from university. Life for people like myself, we are a little less unfortunate as we need to pretty much live with what our path that was currently destined for us. People like myself are those who are born and raised in a less than privileged household where everything has to be earned from scratch. I am in no position to be as successful as the people that I admire like Lauren Conrad, Kristin Cavallari, Vivy Yusof and others because for me, if I want to brand myself and make myself a multi million dollar brand, I have to literally start from scratch. Unfortunately, even after years of working, I have yet to establish a significant position for myself and with this pandemic taking over the world, things are a lot more difficult for me.
So, with the time that I had during the pandemic, together with the 'Movement Control Order' presented to us by our government here in Malaysia, I was able to sit back and look back at myself and even though I was not impressed, God presented me with an opportunity to also figure out how to improve my situation. I have so many ideas that I just want to try to do my best to make it work but it is so hard. For one thing, I finally understand why I was unable to continue to actively blog for the longest time and it is not only me having to take the responsibility of being an adult and because I was not inspired by anything around me. On top of both of that, I realised that no one around me believed in me that I could do more than just accounting. Additionally, I don't think anyone even believe that I could do accounting either. I a surrounded with people with big egos and sort of selfish personas and that was the most bitter pill to swallow because I can't simply push these people out of my life as most of them are related to me. On top of that, I also realised that my previous hunger to just be successful was actually to impress them and not entirely for me and that's where I know I have gone wrong in making the choices I made throughout my life.
It took me a few weeks to finally accept my flaws and also to evaluate and manage my life aspiration. I think I have finally come to a point where I know what I want to do with my life and how I want to achieve it, with or without people's support. I believe this time, I really have to make it on my own but I don't think it is going to be that bad because, I am very sure that I am not the only one who is going through the same struggle as I am. And I also know that one day, with me spreading all the positive energy that I have learned to sustained during the MCO, someone will appreciate it and they too will continue to spread this positive energy to everyone else around them.
With that being said, I have decided to change the flow of this blog and use it as my platform to share my positive opinion on whatever it is that interest me. With this blog, I have plan to start on my own podcast, again talking about my personal opinions on matters that interest me whether it be politics, pop culture, science, travel anything at all but with my own positive spin. I'm not one to favour petty and silly confrontations and criticisms. I think everyone is good people but tend to make bad or very bad decisions but with those bad decisions, there are plenty of things that we could learn and learning is where I was inspired by. Not only do I want to spread my own positivity but I am also keen to learn and improve myself from those with similar or more diverse opinions than mine.
I'm personally excited with this new adventure and I thank God everyday for allowing me to see my life for the past years and also inspire me to make good for myself. And so now my journey, my very difficult journey, begins. Mark Twain once said, the secret of getting ahead is getting started, and I this is where I am - getting started.
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